When I ask most people about their sexual health they pause as if asking, “What!? I have a sexual health?” or “What does that even mean to have a sexual health?”  While it may be easy to acknowledge that humans have a physical health and a mental/psychological health, we may struggle to understand or acknowledge that all humans have a sexual health.  The reality is that humans are sexual beings from conception to death and that the experience of sexuality changes and shifts subtlety and dramatically throughout life.

So, what does it mean to have a good sexual health?  The World Health Organization (WHO) defines sexual health as, “a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences.”

I find it helpful to describe sexual health as a balancing act between pleasure and safety.  When we both attend to the safety and pleasure of sexuality we get closer to having a positive sexual health.  Our sexual health can become unbalanced when we ignore safety principles and over focus on pleasure.  It can also become unbalanced when we diminish or devalue pleasure.  Some may struggle to really approach sexual pleasure and have even been taught to be afraid of it.  However, the balance of sexual health is an endeavor that we are all engaged in throughout life.  Listed below is a pleasure principle and five safety principles.

Pleasure (Mutual Pleasure): Value the pleasure of sex and sexual behavior as positive and life-enhancing, vital for mutual pleasure. Consider your own bodily, erotic, and emotional sensualities for yourself and partner (if applicable).

Consent: Voluntary cooperation. A balance between one person’s autonomy to give clear consent in combination with the other person’s right to engage in sex with whomever he or she chooses.

Nonexploitation: Not leveraging your power and control to receive sexual gratification. Not viewing sexual imagery that takes advantage of or harms women or vulnerable populations.

Protection from STIs or Unintended Pregnancy

Honesty: Direct communication with yourself, and partner (if applicable). This is not to be confused with complete transparency and unlimited candidness in all situations.

Shared Values: Clarify your sexual standards and underlying motives with your partner, and the meaning to you of any sexual behaviors.

Stay tuned…